5 Months

Slow days and fast weeks pretty much sum up month 5. Maybe that's because I don't really sleep, so the nights seem really (and I mean really) long. But since every day is pretty much the same, each week kind of blends together into a big 7 day jumble. I write this as I'm heating up my cup of coffee for the 5th time already this morning and watching the monitor as Evie entertains the idea of waking up for the day.

Ever heard of the 4 month old sleep regression? Apparently it's a real thing, and we've witnessed first hand just how much Evelyn's sleep regressed when she was 4 months old. Out of no where she went from 3 and 4 hour stretches at night to seriously waking up every 1.5-2 hours! Yes, that means I am waking up with her about 4-6 times A NIGHT, people. This has been going on all month. I have no idea whether this behavior is related to teething or just a lot of changes developmentally, but it seems as though she's seeking more comfort throughout the night, and it is exhausting.  Luckily, she usually just wants a quick "snack and snuggle" and we're back to sleep.  On the plus side she's been a bit less fussy in the evenings and easier to get down.

Like I mentioned, it seems as though her frequent night wakings could be directly related to how much she's changing every single day. This month was one of such growth. She went from barely being able to find her hands last month to now sticking her feet in her mouth and grabbing toys with such precision and enthusiasm. It must be a real job for a small infant to piece all of this together.  She's also desperately trying to be mobile. One thing I love about Evie is that she's strong-willed and determined. For instance, she's really into standing (bearing weight on her legs) right now. If she's sitting she gets so frustrated at us, so I spend a great deal of the day hold her up on her legs. She smiles so proudly....I think we'll have an early walker for sure. 

I am so incredibly thankful that I get to witness all of these small but important changes.

This month was tough for me as well. I feel like I am constantly in limbo between feeling like a complete nut case wondering what the heck I am doing wrong (why can't she sleep, why is she crying, is she sick, is she teething, is it her belly...and the list goes on) ...and then I'll talk to another mom or read a blog about another baby doing the same thing as Evelyn and it restores my sanity. OK, I'm not alone, this is normal, it will pass. Unfortunately at 2 in the morning when I am waking up for the 3rd time already to nurse Evie back to sleep I tend to gravitate towards the first.

Thankfully, I've been surrounded by some other super supportive new and experienced mommy's who are eager to send some prayers and hugs my way on a daily basis. A simple "I've been there, it does get better and you're a super mom" does wonders when I'm going on 2 hours of sleep and driving an overtired baby around in the car just so she will nap and I can get a few minutes of quiet time.

Ryan is also such an all-star daddy. He's been working a TON lately-- going into work at 5, coming home at 6 or 7. And that's usually coming off of a pretty poor night's sleep given that he's in and out through the night as I am waking up with Evie. Yet he never complains and is always ready and willing to take over for a bit as soon as he walks in the door. (Usually after he grabs a beer first, ha).  Luckily Evie thinks her daddy is the silliest and she always seems refreshed to see his face when he walks in the door. Watching her light up when she realizes he is home for the first time all day is probably one of my favorite things. Plus it gives me a chance to shower, finish that laundry that I put in like 6 hours ago and clean up dinner before I start putting Evelyn to bed.

Thanks to slightly warmer weather and easier to distract baby, Evie and I have gotten out of the house a lot more this past month as well. Whether it's a short walk in the sling, a trip to Target or play date in the park, the sunshine has been good for all of us, and I can't wait for even warmer days to arrive.

Isn't it funny how different phases in our lives rock our boat for that short period of time, and then it passes and we forget what the big fuss was about in the first place?  It doesnt seem short right now, but I know it won't be long until we are begging Evie to get out of bed in the morning and missing those sweet moments when we could cradle her in our arms. I hope I don't get to caught up in how I can "get her to sleep" or let my circumstances define the quality of our days ..... and instead just treasure the little moments and be thankful for ALL OF THE GOOD things that come with being a mommy to this special girl. 

Your Likes

Your feet, especially when they are in your mouth. As soon as I lay you on your back your feet automatically find your hands. This makes diaper changes quite difficult. 

The sling. We now own 4 baby carriers, none of which you were really fond of, until I started facing you out in the sling. It's been great for walks, getting things done around the house and calming you down in the evening when you start to fuss.
Standing. You absolutely love being up on your feet.
Tummy. You enjoy playing on your tummy better than your back. 

Your Dislikes

Being restrained. This includes the car seat and stroller.
Not being able to be mobile. You get so frustrated that you can't move where you want, when you want.
Getting dressed. Still not a fan of momma putting your shirts on over your head.
Weddings. OK, it's probably not the actual wedding event that you dislike, rather that weddings are in the evenings. Y

Other things...

Since day one we've had trouble getting you to fall asleep at night. White noise is seeming to help (a little).

Thumb. You are finding your thumb frequently. Wondering if you are going to be a thumb sucker? We hope not, but at this point, if it will soothe you, by all means-- suck on at that thumb!

You want to move so badly. It's sad to watch how hard you work at moving an inch or two when on your tummy. 

Love putting weight on legs. Yep, you are so proud when standing tall. Early walker? I bet so. 

Rolling. You are so smooth at rolling from your back to tummy. 

Bearing weight on arms when on tummy. When are your tummy, you can push yourself up to look around and reach for toys. 

At the end of this month you discovered your tongue. One evening you wouldnt stop sucking on it like a mint. So funny.
You learned how to blow air out of your mouth. Cutest thing everrr.

Who needs toys when you've got two feet?

That smile. 

Such a little ham.

Pouting?

If only I could figure out that crawling thing.

Enough with the photos already, mom.  

Busy little bee.

co-sleeping and why it works for us

I never thought we would co-sleep with Evelyn. In fact, in the days leading up to her birth, I had it all figured out. Evie would sleep in the bassinet (8-10 hours at night of course) right next to our bed. Once she was older and we were all ready, we would move her to her crib in her room-- easy peasy!

And then Evelyn was born.

After 2 weeks of no sleep, constant nursing and non-stop nighttime crying, Ryan and I were at our wits' end. How in the world can we get this baby to sleep and where do we put her?

We swaddled her per our pediatrician's recommendation: "Swaddle her tight and then go tighter" he said. It did seem to help a bit, but as soon as we'd get her to sleep and go to lay her down in the bassinet, she would wake back up screaming and we'd be back at it again.

"Just move her to the crib" our doctor said. I laughed inside when he suggested we "simply" move our daughter to her own room. If he only knew, I thought. Evelyn is a tough cookie when it comes to sleep....the crib would have to wait.

The only purpose that cozy bassinet next to our bed was serving was to hold Evelyn's burp cloths and blankets. We needed a sleep solution....

Thank goodness the one place Evelyn would settle down for the night was right between her mommy and daddy. We place her in bed at night, and then I nurse her to sleep without having to move her. Works like a charm most of the time. And so here we are, almost 5 months later and Evelyn still has her own place in our (now much smaller) queen-sized bed.

I remember the first few nights she slept between us being extremely nervous that one of us might roll over on her. To be honest though, that would never happen. Maybe it's just mommy intuition, but I always feel very aware that Evie is nestled right next to me. In fact, I'd even argue that she's probably safer between us than if she was alone.

Dr. Sears, a well known pediatrician and author of several baby books, even encourages co-sleeping stating that infants who sleep near to parents have more stable temperatures, regular heart rhythms, and fewer long pauses in breathing compared to babies who sleep alone.  This means baby sleeps physiologically safer. 

Co-sleeping has also made Evie's frequent wakings so much more bearable. My neighbor is a lactation consultatn (how lucky!) and she couldn't stress enough how much I should learn to lie down and nurse. It really has been a lifesaver. Now when Evie wakes up fussing, I can simply roll over without even sitting up to give her a nightime snack and back to sleep (usually) we all go!

This isn't to say that Evie only ever sleeps in our bed to this day. If we're feeling lucky we'll place her gently in her infant rocker or swing in our room. We've had the best luck with her having her longest stretches of sleep in both of these. The problem is settling her there without her waking up. 

Co-sleeping wasn't what I wanted and definitely not what I planned for, but it ended up being exactly what our family needed-- and a real lifesaver for us in those early months. How long will we co-sleep? I guess that's for Evie to decide. Some nights I wish more than anything that she would fall asleep in her bassinet or crib. But then other mornings I wake up snuggled next to my little girl and hubbie and think, it doesn't get much better than this.

If there is one thing I've learned about parenting, thus far, it's that every baby has different needs. And what might work for one family certainly won't work for the other. Every book, every video, every piece of advice-- they all are great, if it works for you and your baby, that is. And if they don't, then that's OK too. Evelyn just so happens to need that extra security at night, and since mommy and daddy NEED sleep, co-sleeping it is until she's ready to move on.