co-sleeping and why it works for us

I never thought we would co-sleep with Evelyn. In fact, in the days leading up to her birth, I had it all figured out. Evie would sleep in the bassinet (8-10 hours at night of course) right next to our bed. Once she was older and we were all ready, we would move her to her crib in her room-- easy peasy!

And then Evelyn was born.

After 2 weeks of no sleep, constant nursing and non-stop nighttime crying, Ryan and I were at our wits' end. How in the world can we get this baby to sleep and where do we put her?

We swaddled her per our pediatrician's recommendation: "Swaddle her tight and then go tighter" he said. It did seem to help a bit, but as soon as we'd get her to sleep and go to lay her down in the bassinet, she would wake back up screaming and we'd be back at it again.

"Just move her to the crib" our doctor said. I laughed inside when he suggested we "simply" move our daughter to her own room. If he only knew, I thought. Evelyn is a tough cookie when it comes to sleep....the crib would have to wait.

The only purpose that cozy bassinet next to our bed was serving was to hold Evelyn's burp cloths and blankets. We needed a sleep solution....

Thank goodness the one place Evelyn would settle down for the night was right between her mommy and daddy. We place her in bed at night, and then I nurse her to sleep without having to move her. Works like a charm most of the time. And so here we are, almost 5 months later and Evelyn still has her own place in our (now much smaller) queen-sized bed.

I remember the first few nights she slept between us being extremely nervous that one of us might roll over on her. To be honest though, that would never happen. Maybe it's just mommy intuition, but I always feel very aware that Evie is nestled right next to me. In fact, I'd even argue that she's probably safer between us than if she was alone.

Dr. Sears, a well known pediatrician and author of several baby books, even encourages co-sleeping stating that infants who sleep near to parents have more stable temperatures, regular heart rhythms, and fewer long pauses in breathing compared to babies who sleep alone.  This means baby sleeps physiologically safer. 

Co-sleeping has also made Evie's frequent wakings so much more bearable. My neighbor is a lactation consultatn (how lucky!) and she couldn't stress enough how much I should learn to lie down and nurse. It really has been a lifesaver. Now when Evie wakes up fussing, I can simply roll over without even sitting up to give her a nightime snack and back to sleep (usually) we all go!

This isn't to say that Evie only ever sleeps in our bed to this day. If we're feeling lucky we'll place her gently in her infant rocker or swing in our room. We've had the best luck with her having her longest stretches of sleep in both of these. The problem is settling her there without her waking up. 

Co-sleeping wasn't what I wanted and definitely not what I planned for, but it ended up being exactly what our family needed-- and a real lifesaver for us in those early months. How long will we co-sleep? I guess that's for Evie to decide. Some nights I wish more than anything that she would fall asleep in her bassinet or crib. But then other mornings I wake up snuggled next to my little girl and hubbie and think, it doesn't get much better than this.

If there is one thing I've learned about parenting, thus far, it's that every baby has different needs. And what might work for one family certainly won't work for the other. Every book, every video, every piece of advice-- they all are great, if it works for you and your baby, that is. And if they don't, then that's OK too. Evelyn just so happens to need that extra security at night, and since mommy and daddy NEED sleep, co-sleeping it is until she's ready to move on.