becoming a family of 4 & Hayes is 1 month!

Hayes has been here 5 weeks now and we are slowly getting into a new rhythm as a family of 4. In many ways it has been an easier transition with the second baby than the first, probably largely due to the fact that we know what the heck we are doing this time.

The first few weeks were pretty tough, mainly because of Evie and all of the changes happening. She had a cast put on her broken tibia the Monday after Hayes was born. I wouldn't recommend having your toddler break a bone to anyone, and that is especially true when you also have a newborn. Lugging two kiddos around was not fun. Apart from the casted leg, she also was adjusting to sharing mommy time with new baby. I think we might have to work on this for a while, but she is getting better and more used to having Hayes around every day. Overall, I couldn't have been more proud of my girl those first few weeks. She handled her fractured leg like a trooper, gave baby brother more kisses than he could handle, and helped mommy with grabbing diapers, fetching my phone during nursing sessions and providing extra snuggles. I think the big sister role will suit her just fine.

Little Hayes is growing like a champ. At his one month appointment he weighed in at 9 pounds 10 oz, up 3 whole pounds from his three day check up and nearly 4 pounds from when we left the hospital. He's also 21 inches long, so overall about 25-30 percentile across the board. Not the smallest, not the biggest. Pretty typical of our kiddos.

Mommy has been calling him Hayesy-Poo or Hayesy-Boy and daddy isn't a fan. He likes to be snuggled. He picked up on nursing right away, and other than this painful case of mastitis that I am battling right now and a little overactive let down, breastfeeding has been going well.  He makes the cutest 'O' face when he is relaxed. He pees all over daddy during diaper changes and can reach pretty impressive distances (like the coffee table.) He does not like his carseat. He is our first baby to spit up pretty regularly, and him and I both typically smell like old milk. He has been rather fussy during certain parts of the day, but it seems to be related to gas and I've been tweaking my diet and working on milk flow in order to help. Overall, he is a very gentle, cuddly and chill baby when he's content.

Sleep at night is hit or miss. One night this week he went 5 straight hours, nursed, and then back down for another 3-- a pretty solid night of sleep for all of us! But other nights it is mainly 2 and 3 hour stretches with some lengthy wake up times in between. Ryan and I sleep with Hayes most nights in the playroom downstairs on our futon. Sounds crazy, but we honestly can't stand the idea of Evie waking up because its 100 times worse if she wakes up in the middle of the night than if Hayes does. We are hoping that once he is out of his newborn fussy phase we can get back to sleeping in our bed regularly. I think our necks and backs will thank us.

The best part about baby two is knowing everything is a phase. Even though everything is a little more difficult right now, it's reassuring to know that at the end of the day the crying, sleep depravation and insanity will pass (and lead to another new, challenging phase of course.)

On another note, Evie will be 2 in just a couple of weeks. She's such a fun girl these days and talks up a storm. Some favorite things she saying and doing include:

"Whatchu doin?
"I can do it."(Very independent)
"It's not dark outside" (Likes to make the correlation between bedtime and daytime.)
"Good nap" (A lot of the time this is the first thing she will say when I go into get her from a nap, or even first thing in the morning.)
"Mommy all done showering?" (Without fail, whenever I get out of the shower she yells this up the stairs, repeatedly.)
"What's dat?" (To everything)
"Daddy, take dat" (Telling Ryan to take Hayes from me when I hold him.)
Quoting anything and everything from Daniel Tiger. "Grrrific"
Singing ABCs, Daniel Tiger songs, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Jesus Loves me
Reading her children bible stories. She will go through every page asking, "Dat Jesus?"
"Thats so cute" when looking at Hayes' clothes or feet.
Hovering over Hayes and saying in a high pitched voice, "Awww, Hi baby. It's OK baby."
Loves: puzzles, reading Bible stories, Daniel Tiger, coloring and crafts, singing, helping with everything

Blue eyed boy, I love you so

Brave girl did great wearing her cast for 3 weeks!

Leg is better, time to play!

This face, I could stare all day. 

I think she's a lot like her daddy.

He's the sweetest

Welcoming Hayes: A Post by Ryan

Ryan is such a loving husband and father, but he is definitely not one to wear his emotions on his sleeves. Unless we have a baby, that is. If you've kept up with this blog at all then you remember this post from Ryan when Evie was born. Well apparently having babies inspires Ryan to write, and I was pleasantly surprised to find another reflection written by Ryan in my inbox a few days after Hayes was born. He definitely paints me to be a little too heroic than actuality, but I do appreciate is honest reflection of the day's events and the miracle that is childbirth. 

We welcomed our second child into the world yesterday. Hayes Ryan Ytterberg. He came two weeks early and caught us by surprise. I think I had just started mentally preparing for his arrival, luckily my wife had been preparing for months, as usual. She had all the bags backed, thought through all the details, though through what we were going to do with Evie, our two-year old and had narrowed down a list of potential names. I had been pretty unengaged up to this week. And then he came.

I am so thankful for my wife who though through all the details and had been planning for him. She’s a champ. I think we all have our strengths, and giving birth is definitely one of hers. Labor lasted all of 10 hours from the first contraction until birth. Active labor was only about 2 hours and she pushed for about 15 minutes. No drugs, just her and God’s grace. It’s incredible to watch a woman go through labor. The pain on her face, the physical toll, the mess, the muscle twitches, the determination. Why so hard?

Because that is how God ordained it. In Genesis 3:16 God told Eve that because of your sin, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children.” He wasn’t messing around. Kaitlyn told me after that at times during the contractions that she felt like she wanted to reason with God to just take her in that moment. The pain was too much to bear. But by God’s grace, she endured and out came one of the greatest blessings we can experience on earth, a child.

Kaitlyn couldn’t compare the euphoria that she experienced right after seeing the baby. The joy on her face, and mine, is incredible. And so worth all the pain (coming from Kaitlyn, not me of course). Immediately you fall in love and are blown away by his presence. How did this happen? How did this child form inside her belly and make its way out alive? How is he so perfect? And what is amazing too is how women are made for it and how God adapts them in this season to be the source of life for the baby. Coming out of labor, you would think the mother would be exhausted and unable to do a single thing more, but upon seeing the baby, the mother is filled with endorphins that give her the energy in that moment to then care for the newborn. More strength is found. And with the birth of the baby, she is now ready to produce milk to feed the baby. And the baby has the natural instinct to know how to nurse. And the process of nursing helps contract the uterus to aid in the healing process. It’s simply amazing how God has created women and orchestrated the process of childbirth.

Such a blessing. And no matter how hard the woman labors, how long it takes, how many complications there were, did she really work hard enough to warrant that blessing? Doesn’t the blessing far far out weigh the effort put in? Yes, there is the act of conception, the nine months of bodily and mental preparation and the agonizing process of birth, but could you really argue that all of that balances out the blessing that comes from childbirth?

And that’s the beauty of it. It’s not of our own selves or our own work that we earn the blessing of a child. It’s all God. He has orchestrated it all and given it to us as a blessing for us to enjoy. He ordained it to be painful as a reminder of our sin, a reminder of our rebellion against Him. Kaitlyn described it best when she said she wanted to plea with God to take her away. That’s what our sin brings about in us. The reality that we don’t deserve God’s blessing. We have rebelled against Him. We have chosen other gods before Him, often ourselves. We deserve the pains of childbirth constantly for how much we rebel. If only all of our sin had such pain accompanied to it, we might grasp the weight of it. In those moments when Kaitlyn wanted to give up, it reminds us of what our sin earns us. It earns us death.

And while those pains of childbirth remind us of our sin, it also gives us a glimpse of the pain Jesus experienced on the cross for our sin. He bore the penalty for all of our sin, not just physical pain, but separation from God. Separation from his father. He died. And he didn’t deserve it. But being God, he overcame death, paying the penalty for our sin. He died for our sin and then gives us his reward. We don’t deserve it. But in God’s grace, we can receive it.

Childbirth is a reminder of our sin and our failure to live up to the standards God sets out for us. And no matter how hard labor is, we don’t deserve the blessing that results from it. But in God’s grace we can receive it, love it and enjoy it.

A famous theologian Archibald Alexander said that "There is no more important event, which occurs in our world, than the new birth of an immortal soul.” And this can only occur when we receive, love and enjoy the reward that Jesus earned for us on the cross.

Introducing Hayes Ryan: His Birth Story

Sadly I'm introducing the newest member of our family an entire month after his birth. But let's be real, I haven't had much time to sit at my computer these days (or shower or eat or do anything other than change diapers and wipe spit up off my shirt...the same shirt I've been wearing for three days.)

Nonetheless, Ryan and I are SO excited to announce that we were blessed with the most unexpected surprise on Wednesday, September 24. Little Hayes Ryan decided to make his debut a few days shy of 38 weeks gestation- certainly not when we were expecting to meet him, but definitely the perfect day to make his swift entrance into the world.

I could ramble on all day about both of my births, and so that said, I compiled a rough story of Hayes' birth day.