Welcoming Hayes: A Post by Ryan

Ryan is such a loving husband and father, but he is definitely not one to wear his emotions on his sleeves. Unless we have a baby, that is. If you've kept up with this blog at all then you remember this post from Ryan when Evie was born. Well apparently having babies inspires Ryan to write, and I was pleasantly surprised to find another reflection written by Ryan in my inbox a few days after Hayes was born. He definitely paints me to be a little too heroic than actuality, but I do appreciate is honest reflection of the day's events and the miracle that is childbirth. 

We welcomed our second child into the world yesterday. Hayes Ryan Ytterberg. He came two weeks early and caught us by surprise. I think I had just started mentally preparing for his arrival, luckily my wife had been preparing for months, as usual. She had all the bags backed, thought through all the details, though through what we were going to do with Evie, our two-year old and had narrowed down a list of potential names. I had been pretty unengaged up to this week. And then he came.

I am so thankful for my wife who though through all the details and had been planning for him. She’s a champ. I think we all have our strengths, and giving birth is definitely one of hers. Labor lasted all of 10 hours from the first contraction until birth. Active labor was only about 2 hours and she pushed for about 15 minutes. No drugs, just her and God’s grace. It’s incredible to watch a woman go through labor. The pain on her face, the physical toll, the mess, the muscle twitches, the determination. Why so hard?

Because that is how God ordained it. In Genesis 3:16 God told Eve that because of your sin, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children.” He wasn’t messing around. Kaitlyn told me after that at times during the contractions that she felt like she wanted to reason with God to just take her in that moment. The pain was too much to bear. But by God’s grace, she endured and out came one of the greatest blessings we can experience on earth, a child.

Kaitlyn couldn’t compare the euphoria that she experienced right after seeing the baby. The joy on her face, and mine, is incredible. And so worth all the pain (coming from Kaitlyn, not me of course). Immediately you fall in love and are blown away by his presence. How did this happen? How did this child form inside her belly and make its way out alive? How is he so perfect? And what is amazing too is how women are made for it and how God adapts them in this season to be the source of life for the baby. Coming out of labor, you would think the mother would be exhausted and unable to do a single thing more, but upon seeing the baby, the mother is filled with endorphins that give her the energy in that moment to then care for the newborn. More strength is found. And with the birth of the baby, she is now ready to produce milk to feed the baby. And the baby has the natural instinct to know how to nurse. And the process of nursing helps contract the uterus to aid in the healing process. It’s simply amazing how God has created women and orchestrated the process of childbirth.

Such a blessing. And no matter how hard the woman labors, how long it takes, how many complications there were, did she really work hard enough to warrant that blessing? Doesn’t the blessing far far out weigh the effort put in? Yes, there is the act of conception, the nine months of bodily and mental preparation and the agonizing process of birth, but could you really argue that all of that balances out the blessing that comes from childbirth?

And that’s the beauty of it. It’s not of our own selves or our own work that we earn the blessing of a child. It’s all God. He has orchestrated it all and given it to us as a blessing for us to enjoy. He ordained it to be painful as a reminder of our sin, a reminder of our rebellion against Him. Kaitlyn described it best when she said she wanted to plea with God to take her away. That’s what our sin brings about in us. The reality that we don’t deserve God’s blessing. We have rebelled against Him. We have chosen other gods before Him, often ourselves. We deserve the pains of childbirth constantly for how much we rebel. If only all of our sin had such pain accompanied to it, we might grasp the weight of it. In those moments when Kaitlyn wanted to give up, it reminds us of what our sin earns us. It earns us death.

And while those pains of childbirth remind us of our sin, it also gives us a glimpse of the pain Jesus experienced on the cross for our sin. He bore the penalty for all of our sin, not just physical pain, but separation from God. Separation from his father. He died. And he didn’t deserve it. But being God, he overcame death, paying the penalty for our sin. He died for our sin and then gives us his reward. We don’t deserve it. But in God’s grace, we can receive it.

Childbirth is a reminder of our sin and our failure to live up to the standards God sets out for us. And no matter how hard labor is, we don’t deserve the blessing that results from it. But in God’s grace we can receive it, love it and enjoy it.

A famous theologian Archibald Alexander said that "There is no more important event, which occurs in our world, than the new birth of an immortal soul.” And this can only occur when we receive, love and enjoy the reward that Jesus earned for us on the cross.